Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Truth is, even "normal" people have days like this!

 
 
I've been doing really well. Meaning all of the Bipolar crap really hasn't been bothering me all that much. I've been having real, genuine emotions. When I'm happy, I know why I'm happy. When I'm sad, I know why I'm sad and that its not depression taking over. Truth be told, I haven't been really sad in awhile. 
 
Well, today, I am sad. Just plain sad.
 
I started the morning off waking to a dream about two of my brothers.
Two different stories, two different pains, two different heartaches.
 
Then, I was hit with a dose of major hypocrisy, that didn't anger me, but hurt me down to the depths of my soul.
 
And, I don't know what it was, but my Uncle "liked" one of my status' on Facebook and I looked across the room at the framed picture of me and him, and the tears started to stream and they haven't stopped.
 
Honestly, I don't know what else to say, except today sucks a big one. I haven't felt deep, true, emotional pain like this in a very long time.
 
I can tell you. though, that out of everything that I am sad about, there is so much more to be thankful for. I realize I am blessed more than most and for that I am eternally grateful for.
 
But, today, there will be no mask. I will let myself feel these emotions. I have remained numb for far too long.
 
The sun will come out tomorrow! (well, maybe not literally)
 
"Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise Him,
my Savior and my God"
 
 


4 comments:

  1. You are your mother's daughter. I hope the day "picks up" for you.

    Blessings and Bear hugs!
    Bears Noting

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  2. Bad as it may seem, it is always good to feel you ways through your feelings.
    I care.

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  3. This is great, very insightful. Good stuff.

    ReplyDelete