I've been doing really well. Meaning all of the Bipolar crap really hasn't been bothering me all that much. I've been having real, genuine emotions. When I'm happy, I know why I'm happy. When I'm sad, I know why I'm sad and that its not depression taking over. Truth be told, I haven't been really sad in awhile.
Well, today, I am sad. Just plain sad.
I started the morning off waking to a dream about two of my brothers.
Two different stories, two different pains, two different heartaches.
Then, I was hit with a dose of major hypocrisy, that didn't anger me, but hurt me down to the depths of my soul.
And, I don't know what it was, but my Uncle "liked" one of my status' on Facebook and I looked across the room at the framed picture of me and him, and the tears started to stream and they haven't stopped.
Honestly, I don't know what else to say, except today sucks a big one. I haven't felt deep, true, emotional pain like this in a very long time.
I can tell you. though, that out of everything that I am sad about, there is so much more to be thankful for. I realize I am blessed more than most and for that I am eternally grateful for.
But, today, there will be no mask. I will let myself feel these emotions. I have remained numb for far too long.
The sun will come out tomorrow! (well, maybe not literally)
"Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise Him,
my Savior and my God"