Where do I start? I've been thinking about this all week; what to say, what not to say.
How do I even begin to put all of my thoughts and feelings about my Mom in one post?
I decided to stay on one topic. Forgive me if my brain wanders elsewhere, in the end, I promise I'll sum it all up.
It began when my Mom was eight months pregnant. She fled a horrible situation, not because she, necessarily had the strength physically or emotionally, but she knew she had to save my life. Using the love for a child that she hadn't even met yet she was able to gain the strength to change my life forever.
That was the first decision among many, many, many others that her love for me came first.
She and I have been through so much together that we could write a series of New York Times Best Sellers.
She's Held me. Tightly.
I've embraced her.
I've called her names. Names that no daughter should even utter to their Mother.
She's called me names. Names that I've truly deserved.
She grieved with me when my baby died.
Although, she remained strong to hold me up.
I slept in her bed the night the Angels took Isaiah.
She stroked my hair until I fell asleep.
I stole from her.
She forgave me. She never judged me. She stood by me.
I've gone crazy and done some pretty bad things.
She knew it wasn't the true me.
She fought for me.
She got me help.
She tells me that I'm beautiful.
Because she knows that is something that I need right now.
She's slapped me.
I deserved it.
She listens to me bitch, whine and moan.
Then tells me to work it out and stay positive.
She treats my children like they are the most precious jewels that God has ever made.
She tells me the truth.
She found my Daddy.
She married my Daddy.
She loves my Daddy.
She has probably spent over 100 hours just sitting by my side in the hospital.
She's the only one ever that would drop anything just to sit in a chair for hours waiting for test results.
I still cringe at the way she slurps her latte.
She still slurps. :)
I KNOW without a shadow of a doubt, even with all of my horrible, ugly insecurities, she is the person that will never, ever leave me.
My Mom is my best friend and as I look back, she has been since she was eight months pregnant with me. I'm just now realizing what a real best friend is. Honestly, I have never been one to anyone else. Being a best friend is not just about having fun or having inside jokes. Its about having that deep, raw, connection with someone else's soul that you could absolutely never live without. It means always putting the other person above yourself, loving them first and yourself second. NEVER being selfish, always being honest and never breaking promises.
Mom, You've been my best friend this whole time, your actions prove that. I can only pray the changes that I have made in my life will show you that I, too, am your best friend.
I Love you to the Moon and back.
Happy Mother's Day!